"The War on Terror Begins With Us"

Exchanging marriage vows on Danish Television after 9/11. Talking about the Power of Love.

We made a family together. We conceived and gave birth to three human beings, and let me tell you a lot changed in those 11 years after 9/11, but the one thing that did not change was that feeling terrorized and alienated is no reason to give up on family, prevents us from fighting the war on terror is where it matters most, in our own hearts.

Alienation is a complex issue that can leave a person feeling lost and alone. For years, I struggled to navigate the legal and therapeutic systems to keep father time consistent and available to my children throughout each step of the processes that were supposed to help my family.

I spent countless hours and dollars following the advice of lawyers and therapists, only to find their solutions were not working. They weren’t solutions actually, they were focused on the problems of my family instead of our identity, and I was too. But I was following their lead, and it wasn’t until I started listening to my own intuition, and focusing on my strengths that I was able to make progress.

I am a person of faith, and I have seen firsthand how simple actions over time can change everything. I believe that emotional security and empathy in response to alienation is crucial, and that ordering families to participate in any treatment without producing a record of success for that treatment is irresponsible at best, and often cruel and barbaric.

Court-ordered reunification therapy can take years, and hundreds of thousands of dollars without success, compared to 90 days with a 95% success rate in a range of psycho-educational programs that take about 4 days.

It is easy to be pulled along by what others dictate, but we must remember that we are here for the best interest of the child, which includes their liberty and justice, and their standing and belonging as a member of both their mother and their father’s households.

As a coach for parents since the 1990s, I have seen the devastating effects of alienation. But it wasn’t until I experienced it firsthand that I truly understood its impact. I was alienated from my own children for more years than I care to admit. I tried to follow the advice of lawyers and therapists, but I soon discovered that their solutions were not working for me.

It was at the height of the pandemic when I realized that I needed to take a different approach. I had already spent over $30,000 on legal fees when my first wife got an emergency protection order to limit my contact with our children. I felt traumatized and terrorized, and I wanted to give up. But I knew that I had to find a better way.

A year ago I said, “Right now nobody should believe a word I say. Only watch.”

Since then, I have developed an application for parents to gather rich evidence of attachment related behavior one event at a time, and provide a one-page summary of child behavior within an organized framework that allows the court to predict the effects of any orders based on past behavior.

I also met my business partner, who helped me understand the legal processes that are needed to move the court with an evidence validation system. Meeting him became a springboard for me to truly actualize a new approach, and develop this app that I call the evidence spectrometer. It changed everything for me, and we decided to join forces to help parents master the pro se strategies they need to move the court, with their own unbreakable resolution formula to stop the spin of alienation in their mental and emotional atmosphere.

Now I am grateful to say that I am in contact with my children every day, and our clients have a system to follow so they can uncover their own limiting beliefs, and understand the importance of every process they have to follow to move the court, and restore harmony in their family Interactions.

I have a team that supports me and my work could not be more rewarding. Every day is literally creating a legacy of pride for my family. And meanwhile I am grateful to be making a massive impact in transforming so many family lives… and that is what I want for every one of you — to claim the authority and standing you have in court, and the power to transform your family story.

Comments

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

The Good News Horror Story

Image
I was baptized in the Methodist Church when I was eight years old. At the time, I received a faux red-leather copy of the Good News Bible. It contained the same books as the King James Version of the Holy Bible, but it was worded a bit differently and branded with a new title to emphasize the neighborly teachings of the historical Jesus Christ. The good news that Jesus shared with us reminds me of the words of another teacher, Raghavan Iyer, who writes, “Life is no cruel burden imposed upon human beings by some capricious external power, but rather a festival in which there is continual learning and living and loving. But these cannot occur without unlearning, unloving, undoing the excess and illusion of the past.” Our institutions of government and religion are corrupted by the excess and illusion created by our repeated efforts to achieve some sort of status in the world of appearances at the expense of those who are voiceless and disregarded. Today and every day we have the opportun...
Read more

In Praise of the Humble Hyphen

Image
If she were still alive, my grandmother Mildred Joyce Webster Cole would have been 101 years old today.  I remember eating in a little diner with her after church in her adopted home of Reno, Nevada when I was not yet double-digits of age. As I recall, she had taken me to the store to purchase a card for my mother. We sat together at a booth in the diner while I wrote what I wanted to say. I misjudged the space available, and wouldn’t you know it I ran out of room to write an entire word in the space there was. Grandmother put me at ease and introduced me to a trick that I remember to this day, which was the use of a hyphen. If you ever run out of room to write what you want to say, you can add one of those dashes, preferably at a break between consonants, and everything will be fine.  It has been a little while since I posted anything on social media because I have been preoccupied with all the transformations going on around me. The world has been changing so rapidly that I ...
Read more

It is Possible to Change Overnight

Image
  I am feeling like there is nothing I can do. I look out my window to the world, and I look at the flowers blooming in our time, and I wonder. Am I able to really see the flowers for what they are, to experience the potential in each bud to release their fragrance? In the words of Bob Dylan,  “For them that must obey authority/ That they do not respect in any degree/ Who despise their jobs, their destinies/ Speak jealously of them that are free/ Cultivate their flowers to be/Nothing more than something they invest in.” I believe there is more to be experienced in the beauty of this spring day than what can be seen with the eyes, or experienced with the senses, but we have to start somewhere. Ask anyone to tell you what is actually happening, and the chances are if something seems to prevent them from living the life they imagine is possible they will give up describing what they actually see at the point where they sense that the world they describe is limited compared to the...
Read more