It's the day of the hearing. The eagle has landed.

 

The days of miracle and wonder never cease. First the moon landing, then "We have lift off" in the labor of transforming our family Learning Story, and now Zoom Family Court Hearings. This is good practice for the trial. Practice listening for what is being asked for.

Let’s say you are getting the shaft. The system produces the shaft according to the rule that either everyone has to agree or somebody has to be a loser. Turn the shaft into a staff. The Shaft of the System becomes the Staff of Teaching and Learning when you accept responsibility for transforming your family story. You are being asked to take responsibility. 

Show up and keep showing up. That changes the algorithm of what future generations will think is possible. Let’s say that there was a father who for one reason or another did not show up when they were blamed for the family trauma in a previous generation. From that time, the story was that fathers don’t show up. The expectation was that mothers and children are separated from fathers when there is trauma. Experience may create expectation which influences perception, but perception is not reality.

The lived experience of a mother who has grown up with the story that her father was not present for a hearing is that fathers are easy victims and likely scapegoats. They can be blamed for family trauma without any expectation they will show up to offer any evidence to help their family. When you show up for your family in a different way, the story changes. What is possible for your family changes. Perception follows the development of what is possible. 

When our family divorced, we started a family tradition that was an echo of appreciation my children had heard from me about their mom and their mom’s dad’s cooking. It was also an acknowledgement of surprise at our own creativity. One time I prepared a meal and I was particularly pleased. I said, “My compliments to the chef!” As soon as I said it, I realized “Oh wait, I am the chef!” Those two phrases, punctuated with a brief pause, were something the children would repeat years afterward whenever they made something wonderful.    

The miracle and wonder of a Learning Story is even deeper than the surprising realization that we may discover our own greatness in the habit of recognizing the strengths of others. Writing about Learning Stories for fathers and trans family members of the future has given me an opportunity to share the ABCs of listening for the spiritual heartbeat that is the true hero of the human family. Each of us must follow the heartbeat of the hero if we are to give future generations real hope for the states of America to be united moving forward. That is what Learning Stories do.  

I have been sharing some of my stories, and writing about Learning Stories in a format that gives you an idea of the basic steps of writing a Learning Story, seven days a week for seven weeks. These are creative writing pieces. They are different from actual Learning Stories. I introduce the more traditional approach I learned from early childhood educators in Aotearoa New Zealand in The 3-Step Gamechanger. I did not invent the steps, but I am walking the path. I am here to help you take the steps for your family. 

Ignorance of the spiritual heartbeat of humanity is all that prevents social systems of law, medicine, and education from recognizing the metaphysical worldview of indigenous people. With their connection to the storytelling tradition of their ancestors, the Māori people were instrumental in revealing how to help families construct healthy learner identities with preschool children in New Zealand. We can use the same primitive technology to transform the learner identities of anyone suffering from impoverishment in our modern social systems.  

Notice how social systems depend on people in order to work. When mediators are in short supply, judges offer continuances. The rule is to follow the rules and not make judgements unless everyone agrees there is a better way. 

Recognize that there is a better way to help your family than blaming someone else for family trauma, or accepting the role of victim. No system is fair, because any system can be manipulated. In order to support the trans, parent, and learner identities of your family members fairly, explore which questions the government has no business answering.  

Respond by developing the ability to validate multiple perspectives. Notice, recognize, and respond to the strengths of your family members. Reveal what you have in common by affirming important questions for which nobody knows the answers. Resist interference of the system with the recognition of your family hero. Explore the weak point of the system, not the person who manipulates the system. The weak point of the system is the activism that depends on the system for validation. Validate the identity of each person, not their activism. Validate the cause, not the effect.      

I have said what there is to say on the day of the hearing. We all have trials to come. I am here with powerful questions to help every member of the human family move from what seem like hopeless circumstances to hopeful action. The Eagle has landed. Now I am here to listen.  

 

* GODSPEED stands for “Gather Only Data in Sync with the Purpose of Every Excellent Deed.