Zombie Apocalypse-Proof Parenting


The worst has already happened. The healing has already begun. As soon as you got hurt, that’s the moment you started getting better again. That is how my momma taught me to make sense of things when I was overwhelmed with strong feelings of loss, and even horror at the sight of blood or disfigurement resulting from the hazards of being an energetic young boy. There are worse things that can happen than skinning a knee. 

When anyone in your family is hurt, they can turn to despair. Hurt people hurt people. If somebody gets hurt, and the hurt turns into despair, there is a danger that the despair will become contagious. Despair can be passed from person to person until your whole family is in despair, like a family of zombies with the same affliction. 

We all know that in the zombie world the best thing to do is avoid getting hurt in the first place. That’s not the real world though. In the real world, we are born into families that have already turned to despair without knowing it. 
  
There are members of our family who are so hurt they have turned to despair, and are unable to turn back at this time. We keep our children safe by showing them how to barricade the door to hurtful behavior AND take care of their inner zombies. To a child, barricading the door to a family member who might hurt them can be scary because part of them is hurt too, and sympathizes with the despair.  

Modeling how to take care of our inner zombies for our children means recognizing that it is normal to have feelings of guilt about barricading the door to a family member in despair. Memories of despair are part of who we are. Honoring the people we associate with those memories transforms the role they play in our family Learning Story. Bad guys become teachers who show us that we are people who recognize what we might be ready to learn about next. 

Notice the words you use to tell the story when somebody in your family gets hurt. Observe where you might be able to recognize the reality of the healing process, and start recognizing more of what is possible. 

Recognize that you define what is healthy for your family by the words you use to tell the story. When you learn the right words to use to describe what is real, you dispel delusion. Honor those who have turned to despair by considering how important their lives are, and how they teach us to care for each other, how they are part of who we are. 

Respond by driving away despair. Offer comfort to anyone in your family who is suffering from the false belief that they cannot change, that their family is broken, or that love is not the last word in their family story. 

The apocalypse of despair has already happened. Teach your children how to survive, but also teach them how to live. Despair is part of the old family story. It belongs to the past, not to the living. Not everyone is going to make it through. Save whoever you can, and teach them to take care of their inner zombie. 

Once a zombie, always a zombie. But what kind of zombie you are is up to you. If you continue to despair, you can let being a zombie define your whole existence, and hurt everyone around you. Or, you can see it like my momma taught me. It may be the worst thing that could have happened, but it already happened. So you’re already getting better. Be a better zombie. Barricade the door to hurtful behavior. The kind of person who can do that is the kind of person who can survive a zombie apocalypse.  

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