The Best Medicine is the Medicine You Have

The best medicine is the medicine you have. Children know this to be true. They know what band-aids are good for, and they know how to use them. If there are no band-aids, kisses will do just fine. The simpler the better, really. The more options there are, the more we need experts to help us decide which option might be the best one. But nobody has to tell a healthy person what to do. 

Nobody has to tell a disabled person what to do either, or an old person, or a child. They know exactly what they want to do. The question is whether they can convince the powers that be to let them go for it. The idea that adults know what is best for children is generally accepted. With people who are disabled and old people, it’s a little different. 

Once a person has come of age, they are expected to be able to make up their own mind. Their autonomy is respected. We can admire the cantankerousness of people who are old or disabled. Imagine what it must be like to be in their position, and you will do everything in your power to protect their right to make their own choices. 

When someone tells you they are going to do a thing and there is nothing you can do about it, why do anything? One good reason to do anything is if doing anything is better than doing nothing. That is not always the case. Sometimes it is the things we don’t do that make all the difference. 

One of our mothers would use an expression she learned from a friend whose legs were paralyzed whenever she was willing to try something because it was better than doing nothing. She would say, “Might as well, can’t dance.” 

There is always something we can do. Doing nothing is still doing something. That may or may not be the right thing. You have to make up your own mind. If anyone tells you they are going to do a thing and there is nothing you can do about it, they are telling you what to do. You get to decide whether to do what they say, or do your own thing. They might not do what you want them to do, but decide whether to do what they say you can do if it’s the right thing. Don’t just do anything, or accept just any medicine. Find the right medicine. Do the right thing.

Notice when anybody crosses the line between what they get to decide for themselves, and what you or somebody you are responsible has a right to decide. Are they a child or a disabled person? It doesn’t matter. Are they a family member, an elder, the head of the household? It makes no difference. Do not deny what is happening.

Recognize that you speak for yourself, and your voice provides needed perspective that no one else can explain without you. Ask yourself what it must be like to be in the position of children, the elderly, and the disabled members of your family. Share what you see as the strengths of your family members and ask questions, but do not speak for others. Respect that everyone has a right to share their own stories in their own time.

Respond by making promises and keeping them. Take vows, and renew them. It’s okay if the people who depend on you to stand up for your family wish you would stop being the way you are. That means they do not have hope, and there is no other way to give them something they do not have than by becoming someone who can fail, and keep trying.  

 

* GODSPEED stands for “Gather Only Data in Sync with the Purpose of Every Excellent Deed.