Give thanks. You are becoming the new old people.

 

Murmuration of Starlings by a Clocktower

We flock together for Thanksgiving and something happens. The pattern of our individual flight becomes part of the  murmurations of our kin, and turning points in our lives are facilitated by our togetherness. We all have knowledge, and when we come together we combine what we know into a lived experience that is shared among those who are gathered. We access what Timo Jattu calls “flock intelligence” through the process of combining our individual experiences to form a shared understanding. Our primary survival instinct is served by this process because, as Jattu points out,  “One of the things is that you need to be part of something, part of the flock, part of the herd. If you are not, you are eaten by a lion.” 

 

Whatever our Thanksgiving story may be, the original moment marked a turning point for our people. Abraham Lincoln declared the last day of November 1863 as our  first national day of Thanksgiving and day of peace to recognize the end of our Civil War. Queerly bent but unbroken, families began a tradition where invitations were made to gather for a feast on this day and offer thanks with each other for everything that really matters when the fighting stops. 

 

Thanksgiving stories tell volumes about us as a people. Peace offerings and gratitude are dominant themes. Within the meaning of many of these stories, Thanksgiving is as much a story of outsiders or “others,” as it is about our unity as one people from diverse backgrounds. This is not something that only happens one day a year. The day itself is simply a hallmark image of the preparations leading up to it. Who hosts the feast? Who is invited? In what way do those invited show up, virtually or in person? Answers to these questions are found in a perpetual state of flux, depending on the person asking the question.  

 

The answer for the outsider is a painful one. Jattu says that “If something is giving me an idea that I am not valued in a way that I would be taken into the group, I would be taken care of if needed...if that is endangered our mind is going to have a reaction.” I think of all my relations, the people dear to me but no longer able to share the warmth of their touch and my mind has a reaction. I feel called to follow the way of the ones who brought our family together in the past, and are now gone. 

 

Notice how when our family would gather, there was a certain tension that came from the presence of so many different takes on reality converging in the vortex surrounding our intelligence. There was something in it for everyone. After hearing about what everyone had been up to, those gathered would say, “You try too hard.” or “You don’t try hard enough.” No matter what.   

 

Recognize that with every passing year, the Civil War draws closer to being divisible by the span of your life. This is what happens in the course of a single lifetime. If you were born around the start of 1963, the first Thanksgiving was 100 times as old as you were. As measured in years today, that same Thanksgiving is less than 3 times as old as you are now. American families gather on the final Thursday of November to form a matrix of support and remind each other that life is short. Now is still the time to heal our divisions. As we approach the age where we have lived long enough to remember what is important, we have to be the ones to invite the “others,” and include them as part of the intelligence of the flock. I am reminded of a dear friend’s Thanksgiving toast, offered in her thick Scottish brogue, “'Eres t'us and those like us. They’re damn few and they’re all dede.”  

 

Respond with preparations for the year to come. This year is a turning point. You are becoming the new old people. Give thanks, live well, and maintain the continuity of your consciousness. You will be the only one to remember you in the end.  

* GODSPEED stands for “Gather Only Data in Sync with the Purpose of Every Excellent Deed.”